Indelibly etched within mine psyche...

betrayal (guilty as charged)...
within mine marriage,
and all the ramifications
(upon those lives most impacted)
that happened therefrom
courtesy the social media platform
or secure messaging apps
the former such as Facebook Messenger,
or latter examples viz signal, telegram, zangi
(which I since cut cold turkey),
wherein those subscribing
to an orthodox dogma
may consider said website infernal
(even more despicable
then once upon a time
Old Rotten Gotham
sliding down into the behavioral sink),
where sirens wail their plaintive call
seductively luring and captivating
(courtesy their cam girl schtick)
yours truly just another netizen,
(albeit a married Caucasian,
who with very little persuasion
able, eager, ready and willing
to abandon fellowship of the rings)
merely seeking platonic relationship,
but nevertheless drawn
into placid tranquil elysian fields
compliments of ambrosian aphrodisiac.

Impossible mission to consummate
conscious free illicit
liaison with female(s)
young enough to be my daughter
unless I rent asunder vouchsafed
purportedly violating omnipotent bonds,
when troth got pledged,
(nearly spanning a tad
more'n my half-life ago)
inconsolably bawling until
well red as a beet in the face
for the first year of mein kampf
after exiting the birth canal
as a scrawny newborn
sixty seven years ago
January thirteenth
two thousand and twenty six.

Shame on me flaunting availability, carnality,
faux fidelity, juvenility,

obtainability, and unmorality

linkedin to unmet socialization
when a pubescent lad
essentially stunting healthy development
of body, mind and spirit,

while writhing with psychological agony
thwarting puberty every inch of the way
(because I wanted to remain a little boy),

hence no surprise self deprivation

of vital healthy biological development
witnessed devastating lifelong sabotage
undermining natural manifestation

of body, mind and spirit of life

from boyhood to manhood

recklessly endangering himself,

though he committed no crime per-se
starving himself to death

upended predestined kindled flux
about a dozen years prior,

when spermatozoa gamete
chanced to witness fertilization

nowadays primarily courtesy
break thru technological wizardry
utilizing high-resolution microscopes
with specialized cameras used,
often in conjunction
with micro-manipulation tools,
for procedures like ICSI
(intracytoplasmic morphology sperm injection)
and IMSI (Intracytoplasmic
Morphologically Selected Sperm Injection),

which reproductive medicine
giving hope to those
experiencing challenges conceiving offspring.

Unintentional quirk of circumstances

found me texting and sexting young women
compliments Facebook Messenger
after acknowledging receipt of friend requests
unbeknownst such
nonchalant click of the mouse

would usher temptation
of the verboten flesh
(off limits after yours truly
promised to uphold sacred vows
not quite thirty years ago),
I claim the lame excuse
to compensate for forsaken opportunities.

Analogous to someone starved
for one of Abraham
Maslow's physiological needs
late childhood/early tween age hood
of mein kampf peppered
with absent necessary emotional,
physical, mental and spiritual growth,
which deprivation partially explains the reason
(without any rhyme or feathers) why the writer
of these words experiences giddiness
when veritable unknown females
(who congregate in cyberspace)
unwittingly boost my ego
paying me compliments
on my non-photogenic likenesses
or various and sundry autodidactic,
cryptic, dogmatic, fantastic, grammatical,
poetic nuggets of wisdom
from an altitudinarian, doctrinarian,
platitudinarian sexagenarian, and solitudinarian.