if walls could talk

if the walls of my bedroom 
could speak
they would say

what a beautiful mess
you have made
when we first met, you were
trembling
pretending
the pain felt never-ending
shoulder-blades purple
from sleeping on carpet
acting composed
feeling far from it
you had 
nothing
left behind
every possession
to be somewhere safe
how delighted i am
to have been that space

when we first met, you
were eleven
you painted me pink
and i have been pink ever since
over time, you gifted
posters, pictures
shelves of books, reading nooks
records that held you upright
when nothing felt right 

sparkling fairy lights
lyrics taped to my face
a poet's embrace
affirmations, lopsided drawings
i am lovingly adorned in
pieces of you
i have carefully witnessed
all you've been through

every weak-kneed prayer
every time you begged
for someone to care
every lock of your hair
ripped out in rage
every teardrop on every page
every duck-footed dance
every almost-missed chance
i have seen you
in tears
and tired
excited, inspired
encompassed in trance
with your pen in-hand
pleading for God
to understand

collapsing
relaxing
relapsing
mind-mapping
daydreaming
conceiving 
grieving 
hopelessly believing 
there is meaning 
in each of your feelings

i know 
how you giggled
when you finally found love
i see 
how he holds you
how it is all you dream of

from eleven
to twenty-one
now preparing
to buy your own home

before you go
i pray 
you never feel alone
I pray you know
how lovely it was 
to be your home

whoever
inhabits me next
will breathe 
the essence of you
until the end.

21:05pm - 10/05/26.