Hooray, the toilet flushes the afternoon of May fourteenth 20_ _

and hee haw thems words rank as music to my ears!

Earlier after expelling
a bowel movement
large enough to sink a battleship,
the passing of said stool sample
seemingly went down
the residential plumbing
without a hitch,
(which would be
Highland Manor Apartments)
ideally and supposedly
into municipal sewer lines,
then onto a wastewater treatment plant

satisfactorily took place, and lastly
the, solids filtered out
and broken down by bacteria,
where the cleaned water
released into local waterways,
while the solid waste
where excrement leaves unit b44,
and enters the underground
municipal sewer main,
flowing downhill toward
a regional wastewater treatment facility
often processed into agricultural fertilizer,
nevertheless titanic turd
gummed up the sewerage pathway
cause after the missus
needed to defecate,
somewhere along the line,
she noticed the
water merely gurgled
versus a vibrant
whoosh of water
the guilty party being
yours truly, whose dump
clogged up the plumbing works,
(and the waste courtesy
the author of this poetic message)
never settled in large tanks,
where heavy solids
sink to the bottom as sludge,
and lighter materials
(like oils) rise to the top
to be skimmed off
leaving the remaining liquid
to get treated with bacteria
to consume organic matter,
followed by disinfection
(often using UV light or chlorine)
to kill pathogens
before bodily excrement
safely released back
into a river, lake, or ocean.

Countless instances after the husband

(id est me here -
who spends a substantial amount of time
holed upside his/
hers man cave)
does not waste time doing business
meaning the buttucks blasts out payload
(hopefully before a person
finds him/herself incontinent items
most frequently referred
to as incontinence briefs
or simply absorbent products
to avoid the stigma associated
with the word "diaper"
or euphemistically known
as "pull-ups", or "nappies"
(commonly used in British
and Australian English)
off intended into the great beyond,
but gets jammed
and creates a blockage
within the underground system
videlicet "sewerage systems"
describing the network of pipes
or the fluid itself,
which necessitates the grand
poobah's poo poo
requires a plunger
plus bucket flushing
(I use) hot water
as many times as possible -
sometimes near a bajillion),
which subsequently
generates an appetite
(my humble apology
linking the need
to use the bathroom
with near immediate
burning of calories
enough to manifest hunger pangs
and thus then
repeating circle (game -
think Joni Mitchell
adding an extra verse
to incorporate
above mentioned cycle)
qua food intake
to pass out the alimentary
(my dear Watson) canal
and into the amazing
heavy duty pipes
that constitute the underground grid
of innovative treatment
when the need arises
to expel sh*t,
which interestingly enough
dates back to antiquity,
with the earliest known
subterranean clay
drainage and sewage networks
built by the Indus Valley Civilization
around 4000 to 2500 BCE
and put to use when ancient Rome
perfected these concepts
around 500 BCE,
implementing extensive
underground aqueducts,
lead piping, and
subterranean labyrinth
of wastewater sewers.