Battle of love

I know im in love with you but if we'd beyond just being besties and just what if things dont end well and we dont stay friends I dont want to loose what we have you know things we are in synced. 

Then there's this girl I like but im afraid to even try with her or want something with her. I don't want anything to change between to change between me and my bestie, but if I would give the girl i talk to an actual chance then there's somethings me and my bestie would have to not do anymore. 

Ive tried not stop kissing her but with my bestie I just I lose a little bit of control. But with this girl im talking to I really am starting to like her. What if I think about how our life can be its hard when I have thought of life with my bestie and a life with this girl. This is so hard, how do I even talk about it how do I choose what am able to do.

They both make my adrenaline rush they give me so many thoughts. The rushes I get things I want to send them to express my feelings but I dont want to lead anyone on. I just I'm lost, im confused. There's times my bestie sends and really likes some of the things I send her others idk its like she just ehh. Then there's when she drunk shes really different she says things to me that just idk, is it sad I call them sweet nothings, because I dont know what to believe, with the girl im talking to we dont get to really see each other in person so i dont know we only message and video call I want to change that but what do I tell my bestie when she sees my location. I just im not sure..

This is a battle this is what I fear/feared,it's a battle of love. Im just not sure how to approach this how to go about this. 

Oh what a battle of love...