early ending

the world is going to 
explode, i know
fizzle first
then gather warmth like
a moth fluttering
hopelessly around a light
like it's their only purpose in life
as if they haven't got wings
as if they couldn't do 
beautiful things
we can all do beautiful things
and yet
the world is going
to burst
the sunset
is going to make us feel worse
because our world
should be looked after
we are not looking after
very much at all

but despite
the raging wars and the
knuckles clawing floors and
the snapping of unsettled jaws
despite the 
planes that will one day
take my life away
i know that my happy ending
was here
i simply had it early

the universe
did everything in her power
to ensure i had this ending
she was so determined
she brought it forward
and even when 
this moment ends
i know it was meant to be
how everything ended

when i am
bleeding out 
from the gash in my side
and the soot on my cheeks
is limiting my time
polluting each breath
when i have only 
memories left
i will remember

being kissed
i have kissed
and been kissed
being held
oh, how i have been held
being high-fived
being rocked to sleep
sung lullabies 
how my hair has been stroked
how i have been incredibly
undeniably
unquestionably 
adored

every freckle on my face
has been bathed
in affection
every second
i have been loved
when my mother took her test
hands shaking, breath held, waiting
and discovered i was going to exist
she already knew
she was in love

i have always
been loved
and i have always 
loved
i have had my happy ending

when the flames
are never-ending
i am spending
all of my time
in my mind

remembering
my beautiful life
and thanking
the Lord
for all of my time.

12:55am - 27/05/26 - my window