Orbiting Absence

How do I tell you…

you were the only star among millions—

the only one that felt steady,

that never let me feel alone

in the dark,

in the darkest nights.

But that wasn’t the whole truth.

I saw you as what I wanted,

even when you were never still,

never in one place.

You kept moving—

and I kept following,

hoping you’d finally rest somewhere

I could reach.

This was never about love.

It took a midnight silence to understand—

love doesn’t look like you at all.

It is something unnamed,

a quiet warmth,

an affection I had never known.

I realized then—

you were a pause.

A pause for me,

a pause that kept me

from finding real love.

And I understood it

too late.