I want a divorce
You just can’t say you want a divorce; you need to create an argument
for that, my love. It’s like in Monty Python, so you create the argument, and I’ll retort.
You were screwing that slapper, Tracy, last night, which makes you a cheating bastard. Argument complete.
In a way, that is true, but I was actually cheating on her with you. Let me explain
It was you lying there in your fishnets and my favourite maid's outfit.
It was you who said, rub the cream over my breasts and lick till Christmas.
So actually, in a way, It’s Tracy who should be asking for a divorce.
Well, I would just like to say, that is the greatest argument man has ever invented, so good, my lawyer is bound to side with you, though she is female, so maybe not.
Darling, you need to be asking yourself the question, why does my husband need to sleep with other women.
That is a question I ask myself every night, and every night I come up with the same answer, you’re a dirty bastard.
You don’t understand, I’m longing for you, my heart beats only for you
at times.
God, you’re full of it, well actually that’s a lie, you’re empty by the time you get to me.
What it is, darling, is a communication problem. Let me take you upstairs, and I’ll talk dirty to you.
Do you know, I would love to go upstairs, but unfortunately you now live outside with your clothes?
What, not the good suits
Yes, good suits
Record collection
Bin, blue
Wine collection
Didn’t you pass all the happy people in the street
Not the tropical fish
They’re in the car
I never saw the car
That’s because it’s in the river
Have you gone nuts
This is the new me darling, relentless, fearless
I don’t want the new you
Tough, now if you don’t mind I've got an engineer coming at eleven
What’s he doing
He's a service engineer, sure you can figure it out.
Argument complete, I believe.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: June 6th, 2026 04:27
- Category: Humor
- Views: 8
- Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments3
I actually don't know one British woman that doesn't ask for a divorce at least once a week 🤣 who cares what the car looks like as.long as it runs! 🌹
Not a happy woman. lol
yeh a modest Lamborghini 🤣
This seems like a bump in the road, soon recovered and only a few screws loose. Maybe a rattle or two but nothing serious unless you count a blown engine. The car will be around for a while just call a tow truck.
Squeaked forever after I got it back.
Paul, you got me with this one. The back-and-forth is absolutely delightful...every time it feels like one person gains the upper hand, the other fires right back. I found myself laughing all the way through. Wonderful write, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Never liked engineers after that.
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