Bath in a cloud

sorenbarrett

In the sweating armpit of a cloud, beads condense and run downward in drips
The heated steam of a Turkish bath obscures one's vision
Not to slip one grips rain, not to fall in derision
Collision with hard ground, a painful sound in such a soft dream
In a misty disguise one hides from probing eyes 
A warm naked form with all its hidden lies
Baptize disbelief in sky's fog of gray rain, rolling billows watery pillows
Pour cold water on hot stones, warming old bones, raising the humidity
Peel away old skin covering what lies within decreasing turbidity
Liquidity reveals all that conceals so one can see what one is meant to be

Comments +

Comments11

  • Mirela

    nice line: In a misty disguise one hides from probing eyes

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you so much for your review and kind words of support they are deeply appreciated

      • Mirela

        welcome!

      • David Wakeling

        For me this is an adventure in a Turkish sauna bath. An imaginative work.So well constructed amigo.An interesting read

        • sorenbarrett

          Thanks so much my friend for your review and comment it is always anticipated and appreciated

        • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

          good write my friend

        • orchidee

          A fine write SB.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks for the support Orchi.

          • Syd

            Nicely written Sorenbarret.

            - Syd

            • sorenbarrett

              Thanks so much for the read Syd I appreciate your kind words

            • Neville



              what's not to like .. I've got a date with a sauna later myself & I'm gonna leave her squeaky clean .. Neville

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks so much for the review Neville it is most appreciated. So good to hear from you again.

              • Paul Bell

                Tried the Turkish bath once, where after sweating the impurities out, one was then advised to jump into a freezing pool.
                Don't know what one was the worst.
                Naked people are not nice to watch, beats me why they have nudists beaches.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks Paul for the read and comment it is most appreciated. Have a pool in Florida with a jacuzzi attached that we would heat up in the winter to one hundred and fifteen degrees and we would dive from it into the forty five degree pool then back to the jacuzzi.

                • Thomas W Case

                  There’s a vivid, almost tactile intensity in this—like weather becoming a body, and the body becoming weather in return.

                  And what lands most is that movement from obscurity into clarity… as if the fog isn’t just hiding things, but gently preparing them to be seen.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks so much Thomas I deeply appreciate your review and comment and love your interpretation

                  • Kevin Hulme

                    Never been in a Turkish Bath. Probably never been in a Bath for that matter. But reading Playboy years back was quite Hot.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks so much for the read and comment. Yes inside a cloud is much like a Turkish bath without the heat.

                    • Tristan Robert Lange

                      Soren, you got me with this one. The imagery is rich, fluid, and immersive...it feels like stepping into a dream where water, steam, and self-discovery all occupy the same space. There is something wonderfully hypnotic about it. Great job on this, my friend! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you so much my friend. This one came about as I stepped out my door into a cloud where it was so thick little could be seen but swirls of mist. I remembered how similar this was to a steam bath but it was cold while the bath was hot. This confusion is evident with in the poem itself. It is the cleansing process represented by water itself that emerges in the end.

                      • Cerise456

                        Great write as usual !

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you so much Cerise



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