Regrets

I hate to admit that I got excited when I saw you again,

Despite the fact that we weren't anything special, and I can barely say that you were even a friend.

I don't understand where it all went wrong,

Because I truly hadn't felt that way in so long.

It all ended so fast, and I don't think I will ever know the reason why,

Because deep down, I didn't think you were that kind of guy.

After six months of no contact at all, we are back to seeing each other every day,

And it feels like neither one of us know what to say.

I want to talk to you, like we used to before,

But I am afraid that the relationship can't happen anymore.

I wonder what is going through your mind,

If you want to walk away, or if you want to be kind.

Put everything that happened between us in the past,

But I am too nervous to go up to you and ask.

Just to check in and make sure that everything is okay,

But I don't think either of us will have that courage, so we are left with a cloudy shade of gray.

A mix between what we were and what we could have been,

And hating myself for putting us in this predicament that we are in.

But I can't just sit here and put all the blame on me, 

And deep down, I know that you agree.

Everything was fine, until you just disappeared,

And now that I am back, everything is coming true that I have feared.

You smile and say hi, but I know something is not right,

And it has left me crying myself to sleep at night.

Wondering why, once again, I couldn't just be what you wanted,

And all of the unfinished business has left me feeling haunted.

With this whole in my heart that I am afraid no man will ever be able to occupy,

Because you weren't even willing to give us a try.

I guess all we will ever be is saying hi as we pass by,

Because I am too nervous to talk to you, and I don't think that you are that kind of guy.

We will continue to say hi with and underlying tone of despair, 

Because neither one of us has the courage to say anything to try and clear the air.