Weight

I hate the weight I carry—
Not the weight in my body,
But the weight that rests heavy in my chest,
The kind that lingers in the tension of my shoulders.
And the worst part is, most of it isn’t mine.

A portion of the weight is what I lift from my friends,
Allowing them to breathe and rest.
I take on their weight of screaming parents,
Bickering siblings,
Old wounds,
New scars,
Drama between others I barely know,
Broken relationships I try to fix.
And no matter how heavy my own weight gets, I’ll carry theirs
So that they can breathe—

Without the weight of their world resting heavy in their arms.

The second portion of the weight I carry is that of my parents.
I try my hardest to be good in school,
Wake myself up,
Make my own lunch,
Not be in the way,
Not be a burden,
Listen.
But no teenager should have to worry about their parents’ financial stress—
Yet I do.
I’ve thought about giving them my money to help with bills,
And not just a small amount—
I was thinking $450.
I try to listen and stay calm when they are screaming or venting.
They need someone too,
And I’m usually there—
Anything to make the world weigh a bit less for my parents,

Even if it crushes me.

The third portion I carry is that of my siblings:
Secrets shared in the dark,
Relationship problems I’m “too young” to fix in their eyes,
Work stress,
Trauma,
And family drama.
But they helped raise me—

They deserve to have that bit of weight off their shoulders.

The last weight I carry is that of the world.
I stay informed on passing bills,
Oppression,
Political drama,
Lawsuits,
Country debt,
The threat on people’s safety and freedom.
I can’t even vote yet,
But I stay informed.
It’s important to be aware,
And it’s a civil duty.

So I take what I can and listen to people when I can.

However, I take so much weight from everyone else
That handling my own almost crushes me.
All of the weight I carry rests heavy on my chest;
It settles in the tension of my shoulders
And the creak of my young bones.
Even though I hate the weight I carry,
I will never give it back—

Even if it’s the end of me.