DJ Dusty

(Verse 1)
Dusty was a novice DJ 
Struggling to beat match by ear
The clip clop of mismatched hooves galloping 
Filled him with dread and fear

He had all the latest technology 
Bells and whistles, the kitchen sink
By far his favourite weapon in the arsenal 
Was his beloved Auto Sync 

He embraced the chemicals and euphoria 
And there's nothing wrong with that
But Dusty was also a sadist 
Persistent with his pesticides, a really cruel twat

Swatting at the summer insects 
Telling flies and mosquitoes to Fuck Off!
His greatest foe of all
Was the dusty loggerhead moth

(Chorus)
The bouncy basslines pumping 
Sweaty smiling faces all around 
Jaws chewing, eyes a rolling 
Oblivious to biblical shit that's about to go down 

The hi-hats are a jumping 
The MC's shouting bollocks 
The Almighty's feeling vengeful 
The DJ's about to sprout a thorax

(Verse 2)
He reaches for the fly spray
That he'd almost forgotten he had
The light show would be amazing 
If it wasn't for the moths making a stand

He fumigates furiously 
Gassing as many as he can
They drop like big dusty chinooks 
Choking over Helmand in Afghanistan 

There's an electrical storm brewing 
Over the festival tent
Dusty's about to feel the wrath of God
Well and truly repent

The build-up's stacking nicely 
The crescendo of the rave
The Almighty points his finger
About to put Dusty in his place

(Chorus)
The bouncy basslines pumping 
Sweaty smiling faces all around 
Jaws chewing, eyes a rolling 
Oblivious to biblical shit that's about to go down 

The hi-hats are a jumping 
The MC's shouting bollocks 
The Almighty's feeling vengeful 
The DJ's about to sprout a thorax 

(Verse 3)
There's an electric crackle and buzz
Like he's got moisture in a port
Feeling like a caterpillar in metamorphosis 
He blames it on the drugs of course

Antennas sprout like cordyceps
From his shiny sweaty head
Where there once was plentiful dandruff 
There's now moth dust instead

His fingers sprout tarsi
As he tries to adjust the fader 
A thickening blanket of dust 
Making every move much harder 

Now fully transformed 
Just as the chunky bassline drops 
The sweaty crowd don't bat an eyelid 
And reach for the lazers, safe as fuck!!

(Chorus)
The bouncy basslines pumping 
Sweaty smiling faces all around 
Jaws chewing, eyes a rolling 
Oblivious to biblical shit that's about to go down 

The hi-hats are a jumping 
The MC's shouting bollocks 
The Almighty's feeling vengeful 
The DJ's about to sprout a thorax 

(Verse 4)
Dusty showed true DJ dedication 
By not abandoning the revellers in the room
He finished his set diligently 
Then flew off into the summer moon

So if pocket wasps harass you in summer 
And leave you feeling downtrodden 
Ensure you think before you strike
So Dusty's tale's never forgotten