Talking To The Pork

Syd

Talking to the pork
At 1am in the empty kitchen
I'm talking to the pork
Thinking here we go again

Unceremoniously slain
Was this fine porcine beast
A sacrifice of sacrilege
For our Sunday dinner feast

Off is the TV, from the football
In the kitchen, no commentary
I'm sombre with the dead beast
Drinking vodka, let me be

No proper marinade
For its prickly pork rind back
Making do with Dinsas Chekov vodka
And a can of Scrumpy Jack

I ask it strange questions 
The most peculiar of things
Was it straight, trans or bi?
Did it dance and did it sing?

I'm talking to the pork
But it's not talking back, of course
I'm talking to dead swine...

I really must think of better ways
To spend my idle time

  • Author: Syd (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 27th, 2026 08:47
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 28
  • Users favorite of this poem: Teddy.15, sorenbarrett, peto
Comments +

Comments7

  • Friendship

    🤣Enjoy your humor.😂🤣😂

    • Syd

      Thank you. I certainly don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy a laugh.

      - Syd

    • Teddy.15

      lol my dad used to put whole pig heads in the over ears and all. I'm sure your neighbours could hear you through the wall though 🤣 🐷

      • Syd

        Wow! Your Dad sounds like he was an awesome bloke. And yes 🤣 maybe my neighbours could hear me 😂

        Cheers - Syd xo

      • sorenbarrett

        This may be written in humor but it holds more. A metaphor possibly as well. With its humor it teaches of how we treat our food and animals in general. Well written it is a fave

        • Syd

          Thank you so much Sorenbarret. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment.

          - Syd 🍄

          • sorenbarrett

            My pleasure

          • Doggerel Dave

            As a veggo, I couldn't avoid this one, Syd.
            No preaching though...
            Enough material there to make a reader think (as they say round here), should they be so inclined.

            • Syd

              I have a friend who is vegan and he's really sound, no preaching from him either. It's supposed to be really healthy for you (healthy for the animals too I suppose)

              Thanks for reading and commenting Dave.

              Much appreciated - Syd

            • peto

              Great write syd
              Truly enjoyed and laughed
              I will say if I was on that vodka and the scrumpy
              It would probably be talking back to me
              Bit like the pink elephants
              Magic

              • Syd

                Ha ha cheers peto, much appreciated mate - Syd 🍄

              • Thomas W Case

                Excellent work. Funny stuff.

                • Syd

                  Thank you so much Thomas, I'm glad you enjoyed the humour.

                  - Syd 🍄

                • NafisaSB

                  yes indeed - there are better people to talk to at 1 am in the night that a piece of pork - talk to the walls [lol] or self

                  • Syd

                    Yes, I agree. That's when I know it's time for bed 😂

                    Thanks for reading and commenting.

                    - Syd 🍄

                    • Syd

                      Yes, I agree. That's when I know it's time for bed 😂

                      Thanks for reading and commenting.

                      - Syd 🍄

                      • NafisaSB

                        lol - enjoy life while you are awake...



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