To my woman by Sergei Esenin

You remember—

You surely remember it all—

How I stood there,

Close against the wall,

While you paced the room in agitation,

Flinging harsh words

Right into my face with no attention.

You said:

It was right  time for us to part,

That my wild, reckless life

Had worn you down,

That you had work to do smart,

While my lot was simply

To keep on rolling—downward.

My surely love!

You never loved me rather,

You did not know, that in the human throng

I was like a horse, driven till it lathered,

Spurred on by a daring rider strong.

You did not know

That amidst the swirling smoke mist

In a life torn apart by storms disgrace,

My torment was simply this: I could not grasp,

Where the tide of fate was sweeping us.

Face to pale face,

One cannot see the face.

Great things are seen from a few distance.

When the sea’s surface boils—

The ship is in a sorry state instance.

The Earth is a ship!

But someone, suddenly,

Seeking new life and new glory start,

Steered it purely majestically

Straight into the thick of storms and blizzard.

And who among us, upon that vast deck,

Has not fallen, vomited, cursed, or unwe,

Few there are—with seasoned xeqt

Who stood firm amidst the pitching swell.

And So I, too—

Amidst the uproar whild,

Yet knowing the work wellness,

Went down into the ship’s hold,

To avoid the sight of human sickness.

That hold was—

A  drinking  tavern.

And I bent low over my glass,

So that, grieving for no one partner,

I might destroy myself

In a drunken haze.

But you did not know,

That amidst the thick smoke,

In a life torn apart by the heavy storm,

My torment stemmed from this:

I could not grasp at little shock,

Where the tide of events was sweeping us worn.

Years have passed since then.

Today I am

Moved by tender feelings.

I recalled your sad weariness.

And now

I hasten to tell you,

What I used to be like,

And what has become of me!

My beloved!

Forgive me...

I know: you are not the same—

You live

With a serious, intelligent husband;

That you have no need for our restless game,

And that you have no need

For me—not in the slightest.

Live as

Your star guides you,

Beneath a canopy of renewalness

With greeting pennies

Always remembering you,

Your acquaintance,

Sergei Yesenin.