Taken

sorenbarrett

Stolen, it was never his, bread meant for another taken without invitation
No permission asked, nothing said, manners forsaken no negotiation
Not a crumb left, just a scent devoured in greedy lascivious bites
Succumbed to theft, virgin loaf rent, defloured, oblivious of sacramental rights
As hours passed, fateful burning the genesis of surged building gas
It sours in an ungrateful gut turning venomous, purged as a vomitus mass
to be eaten by dogs hidden under the table, ribs through skin show
Some sent to the hogs by the stable where in filth such thoughts grow

Comments +

Comments11

  • Ogunisjustice

    Love this ✍🏼

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you so much for the read and kind words they are most appreciated

    • orchidee

      Good write SB. I steal sewage for KP's dinners but no one complains! lol.

      • sorenbarrett

        Thank you Orchi for the review it is deeply valued my friend. It is interesting how one can be said to steal something that no one wants and in fact would be considered a service since they don't have to pay someone to haul it away

      • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

        Love the sharpened power of this piece

      • Teddy.15

        A wonderful poem, your poem speaks to me as greed and it's everywhere 🌹

        • sorenbarrett

          Thank you so much my friend for your review of this piece. You are right Teddy greed is everywhere as is its companion dishonesty and feelings of entitlement. Your words are most valued.

        • arqios

          Here, if you left something on the sidewalk it would have been swept away within the hour. 🙏🏻🕊️

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks so much Cryptic you are so right actually it would be gone in far less.

            • arqios

              Yup. As you lay it on the grass/concrete 🙃🤣🙏🏻🕊️

            • Kevin Hulme

              I've Been in a Supermarket and seen People just shoving Items down their Shirts. And Walking out. It's in the News here alot as it's an Epidemic. A good Write.

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks so much Kevin for the read and comment. Theft happens on all levels even the heart. Appreciate your words

                • Kevin Hulme

                  My Pleasure.

                • Tristan Robert Lange

                  Soren, this is a powerful and unsettling piece. The progression from theft to consequence unfolds with an almost biblical intensity, leaving a strong impression by the final lines. Thought-provoking write, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you Tristan for the read and supportive observation regarding this piece. I do very much appreciate and value you comments my friend

                  • soheil khodaparasti

                    By illustrating that what is wrongly taken can never truly nourish but instead destroys the one who consumes it, you lead the reader to the deeper realization that stolen pleasures may satisfy for a moment but ultimately corrupt the soul of the one who takes them. Beautifully expressed.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Soheil I am thrilled that you captured this concept so succinctly and expressed it so well. Your words are most gratifying and much appreciated.

                    • soheil khodaparasti

                      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am very pleased that my words reflected the spirit of your poem. It was a privilege to read your work, and I sincerely appreciate your gracious response.

                      Using virgin as an adjective to modify loaf, followed by oblivious of sacramental rights, suggests that the loaf is far more than simply a loaf of bread. The word defloured also works as a clever pun on deflower, whose meaning of depriving someone of virginity is reinforced by the image of the virgin loaf. These are just a few of the many suggestive and thought-provoking layers woven throughout your poem.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        You have picked up on the rest of the symbols in this poem and understood them well.it is a pleasure to have people like you understand them and makes it worth the effort of writing them. I thank you my friend

                        • soheil khodaparasti

                          I am grateful my interpretation resonated with you. Please keep writing as usual.

                        • NafisaSB

                          That is so unjust and unfair and disgusting and the results speak for themselves

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thank you Nafisa for your read and comment it is valued and appreciated and such is life

                            • NafisaSB

                              yes, unfortunately it is so; let us make the best use of it thought
                              have a great weekend

                            • RSM0812

                              This write has some grotesque imagery written and well contrived of. Enjoyed another read.

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you so much RSM for the read and comment it is deeply appreciated



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