A requiem to grief

A requiem to grief:

Grief is love that has nowhere to go, it’s all the pain, love, happiness, and emotion you felt towards that person trapped in a bottle you can never open because it’s buried six foot under. Once upon a time you stood in front of me and now suddenly I’m yearning for somebody who never got to see me grow up.

When I close my eyes,  I see you standing in front of me. Are you scared when you knew you had to go? Because I couldn’t see how you could be so peace knowing your mother had an outlive her son.

Feels like a place that no longer exists.

It’s weird to me, how someone so full of life and energy, can just stop existing. How you could just stop opening your eyes.

To you, I was just your little girl.

You don’t know me now.

You can’t know me now,  you never will.

Don’t remember your voice,  and I’m slowly forgetting your face – strange really for someone who knew in their life. Now I’ll spend encouraging you with me, wishing you truly were with me.

Even though you never will be.

I’ll never see you sat in your chair, I’ll never see you at my birthdays, at my wedding.

I’ll never see you cheekily sneaking another dessert, and I’ll never hear your silly little jokes.

It just makes me think,

One day, I’ll be alone. You won’t be.