Virginia Green is so Petite,
A Portrait of Beauty from her Head to her Feet.
With Hair spun gold that frames a face,
That 'Helen' herself did famously grace.
Deep Eyes of blue that pierce your Skin,
And tell of Nights of Ceaseless Sin.
The body formed Aphrodite blest,
A young man's dream in a Cotton Dress.
Such a dainty mouth of Strawberry Red,
That speak of Tracks that lead to Bed.
A Sultry Voice of Honey and Silk,
With Skin as fine as the Smoothest Milk.
And were Legs ever crafted to prove the Rule,
Of Perfection formed and Bernini to drool.
And so it was being Flesh and Blood,
I tried my Luck as a Chancer would.
But her Husband Dave is 6ft.5,
No meaner Creature I think alive.
He's an angry sort, a dangerous Man,
A Judo King being a Black Belt Dan.
For he took exemption to me hanging around,
Near his gorgeous wife like a Lovesick Hound.
So if you ever do Visit to view my Fate,
Don't bring me Flowers or even Grapes.
Just say my Name when you do arrive:
One Cast in Plaster within Ward 5.
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Author:
Kevin Hulme (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: July 11th, 2026 19:35
- Comment from author about the poem: I thought I saw Michael J Fox at a Garden Centre the other day. I knew it was him: He had his Back to the Fuschias.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 18
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange, sorenbarrett
Offline)
Comments7
Well I would, wouldn't I ? Anyone who looks in the wrong direction involving my Missis, the National Health service won't have to close down for want of patients... Richly detailed though - you got her to a 'T'
Mind you , Dave's Sisters not to bad . Said he'll try his luck. What could go wrong?
Thank you for Reading.
A humorous reminder that idealising beauty and acting on infatuation can collide spectacularly with reality. 🕊️🙏
Collide Like a Knee to the Dangling Parts .
Appreciate you Reading this.
Inarticulable ouch.
Kevin, what a fun poem. The vivid admiration pulls you right in, then Dave completely changes the story. 😂 "One Cast in Plaster within Ward 5" was the perfect punchline. Had me laughing by the finish. Great job, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. 👍⛑️⛑️🩹💊🚑🩼🩼🧑🦽🤕
Thank you for the fave.
Very well penned and humorous verses dear Kevin!
My Pleasure. Thank you for Reading and the Comments.
This hits just right for any man married to a beautiful woman. If you want to be happy all of your life marry an ugly wife.
As Dr Hook once sang: 'When your in Love with a Beautiful Woman' etc. Thank you for the fave 👍
You are most welcome my friend
There’s a playful old-ballad feel here, mixing admiration, foolish courage, and a sharp twist of consequence.
The ending lands like a tavern tale told with a grin—the kind where vanity meets reality in the funniest way.
Certainly true. Appreciate you Reading this and Comments. 👍🩹🩹🤕
What a beautiful description and the catastrophic impact was to be expected obviously 🙄
Thank you. I've seen a few 'Virginia Greens' out there . With boyfriends like Herman Munster.
Go figger. 🤔 Thank you for Reading.
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