Mist of Delusion (Manic Depression)

I

Resilient youth, better say your prayers,
for tomorrow, Lord knows, how you'll fare!

II

We will never truly learn from our
mistakes; merely imitate certain traits
and promote them with style and idealism.

III

(Corporate Man)

I have been siphoned into the Death March
of work, eat, and sleep.

All is logic, committees, and polls,
issued on command, to the corporate beat.

I have no opinion, nor partake of any form
of fun. My existence is only fulfilled
when I'm a rat put on the run.

I am a clone of the company policy; not
mere words; my life, identity and creed.

Philosophical ideals I freely betray with
my condo, BMW, and unquenchable greed.

I am a number assigned at will, yet the
world respects my sum. If I make a
decision, it's done collectively; to think
on your own requires Tums.

Stocks and bonds are all I read, and I
dabble a little in futures. And so what
if my life is micro-managed; I like being
held together by this political suture.

IV

People are so afraid of legal action if
they hurt another is feelings or express
their opinions, they often go through life
denying their own existence altogether.

What's better - the Truth or a vacuum?

V

O, if only I could die believing the same
things as the day I was born!

VI

I don't wish to live a lie, but it seems
the only way to get by. If everyone told
the truth, we would kill each other much
faster; as law and order, would by the
roadside, die!

When a person acts on their inner-most
workings, a criminal they are deemed; yet
march to the beat of deceitful conformity,
and be praised as Powerful while you
dangle from the System's strings!

No one looks anyone in the eye anymore! No
one gives it their all or tries anymore!
People just want to lay down and die!

But even a bird with a broken wing will
still try to FLY!

Superior race, my ass!

VII

How many lies must be told before we bury
our head in doubt and scour our face with
fear?!

How can there be hope without Truth,
laying waste all helplessness?

We know where the answers lie, but are too
afraid to seek them out for fear we might
have to be responsible for our actions now
that knowledge is upon us!

VIII

I watch with horror as pain and fear
scratch out the eyes of the once faithful!

I feel the greed of exception as I run my
calloused hands across the swollen belly
of starving legions inheriting the
emptiness of uncertainty!

I hear the mortar shells and rocket blasts
and am forced to my knees in prayer,
begging forgiveness for the mindless
betrayal of Humanity for a brief moment of
Power in the Void of Temptation's circus!

I cry out for HELP!! but there is silence.
I cry no more ... I must move on.

IX

Time moves on whether you fill it with
significant moments or not. Of course,
what is meaningful to you, may be absolute
folly to another; most lives are lived
through others desires, untrue to
themselves, forgotten by All!

X

Too tired. Too tired to continue mocking
the motions of existence any longer.

Happiness is not a commercial piece of
property that can bring about exaltation
upon impact with my sold-out senses!

Never again a smile unless it be given by
a Saved soul, no longer in denial of his
purpose!

I see your depression and raise you a
nervous breakdown! Oh sure, up the ante
with your negative narcissistic delusions
of lostness.

I think we have too many expectations for
our life. We see others who have it all
from outside glances but don't know what
lies inside the shell yet to be cracked,
contents openly explored.

We are promised the world by the Media we
feed off of, but when we try to collect
our portion, we get our own spoon shoved
up our ass, hot fudge sundae for dessert!

Tumultuous motion spewing forth laws and
ideas; unconscious of our own mortality;
mocking the World and Life like a child
pouring grape juice on the carpet,
laughing, then going outside to play in
the sandbox with his invisible friend!

We work like slaves during the prime of
our life only to contribute to the
Government's appropriation of more war
machines, space shuttles, and the
obligatory $400 hammers!

Yet when it comes our time to collect what
is owed to us, they politely say, I am sorry
we sold out America to Japan, Russia,
Somalia, and anybody else who wants money
besides our own people, such as a 45 year
old Vietnam Veteran who lost his legs and
Soul to a land mine defending America's
greed and selfishness; gotta preserve the
Capitalist spirit at ALL costs!

XI

(Trying to Understand)

It's seems you're not worth anything as a
Human Being, to any person or organization, 
unless you are adhering to their rules 
and beliefs!

If you want to lose a job or a friend
really fast, tell them what you truly feel
and think!

In order to remain popular and avoid
attracting attention and enemies, zip your
lip and avoid the thinking trip. No one
will understand anyhow.

Nor does anyone care! We are all locked
inside our own inner-world from which we
draw on our personalized promptings to
guide us through our days, to get us
through Life's enigmatic haze.

But somehow it works out. No one's life
is ever a failure! All things good and
bad in our life have a purpose and give us
a certain understanding and insight to
what Life is about!

XII

I ponder upon Life's awesome gaze, within
my stirring mind, as midnight wanes.
Whose tragic offerings, I freely drank,
till I ceased the cynical lie and feel to
my knees in thanks.

Complaints are for culprits afraid of the
Truth. The silent man pleads not for
himself, except to be wise and sleep under
some roof.

(a)

My heart, like the Sun, shines on through
the rain; not revealed in dark skies, yet
present, even in pain.

What lights up the sky day after day? It
is hope, faith and love that touches us
all with a thought or action...the warmth
of a ray!

(b)

In your face is etched Humanity. Every
wrinkle and scar, an emotion and thought
marking down time.

O, your bright eyes, how they radiate the
warm Sun of youthful summer days of sweet
play gone by!

(c)

O Love, I used to hold you sacred, but now
your usury has me baffled to your purpose!

XIII

(If I Ever...)

If I ever feel out loud, break my jaw and
set me straight.

If I ever love too much, remove my heart
before it's too late.

If I ever start to understand, send the
men in white suits with a ragtime band.

If I ever get in your way, have me removed
and be on with your day.

If I ever expose to you my fears, make
them a reality and bring me to tears!

If I ever live to long, shoot me dead and
finish this song...

XIV

A distant shadow have I become, for lack
of substance, from faith undone!

A distant shadow have I become, for lack
of substance, from faith undone!

A distant shadow have I become, for lack
of substance, from faith undone!

XV

(No Free Ride)

What if I were an illusion, cast in motion
to protect my soul and mind? My real self
would be unaware of any actions taken in
this world, both good-natured and unkind.

At the end of my life, I would awake, just
as the day I was born; with no memory of
my life to be judged, praised or scorned.

I suppose that would be too easy, I say
with a frown. No one gets a free ride
uptown, until they've done some living and
soul-searching around.

XVI

I drank myself into oblivion. I sought to
enlighten my senses and obtain alternate
realities, but lost myself in the process!

Now I stare into the mirror at a foreign
reflection whose soul dwells not within my
own corpse.

I only want love but I receive all except
that which I covet the most. 

I see other couples years younger than I, 
caressing and loving each other; isolated 
by their togetherness, yet I am left alone 
to relieve myself by fantasizing to images 
on paper and celluloid, which leaves me 
feeling used myself!

Death be not proud! You only take without
a fight! When all is lost, you gather up
the last remnants of existence and claim
victory.

No one is a winner - only a player and the
played!

(a)

Let me call up the last piece of thought
I have left and say, "please listen to
what I once said, because I used to know
a few things before I lost my head!"