Busted

sorenbarrett

A broken man swept away with a family broom
A statue of gloom sits all day in memory's dusty room
Cobwebs gather on a rusty clock that only runs backwards
Thoughts that he'd rather were rocks, put in his exact words

 

Here night comes too soon and the sun never raises
On the dark side of the moon at blackness he gazes
Eclipsed shadows flow as spilt ink on paper
A stagnant mind nothing but vapor

Comments +

Comments15

  • Teddy.15

    I see time, regret and remorse. Only you can write with such talent dear sorrenbarret kudos my dear friend. 🌹

    • sorenbarrett

      You are too kind my friend. Your read and generous words are most cherished.

    • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

      another fine write friend

    • Tristan Robert Lange

      Soren, this really hit me hard. The atmosphere is heavy from the very first line...it feels like someone trying to survive beneath the weight of memory itself. Powerful piece, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

      • sorenbarrett

        Thanks so much my friend for the review and as always your words are cherished and most valued.

      • isa kemmy

        A touchful writing well crafted by you

        • sorenbarrett

          Thank you so much for the read and comment Isa

        • orchidee

          A fine write SB.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks a lot Orchi it is appreciated

          • soheil khodaparasti

            You use fresh, original imagery to transform familiar emotions into vivid, memorable scenes.

            • sorenbarrett

              Thank you Soheil your words of encouragement are most appreciated

              • soheil khodaparasti

                You are welcome. It is always a pleasure to read your poem.

              • Paul Bell

                Death has torn this man apart.
                A broken heart followed by a restless mind.
                I suppose death does that, leaves you blank.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks so much Paul I do appreciate your words of understanding

                • hzugman

                  Very nicely done.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you so much for your read and tor your kind words of encouragement

                  • Lorenz

                    The family broom ...that expression terrifies me !

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks for the read my friend it is appreciated. And well it should

                    • mylastwrites

                      Another diamond in your collection of gems. I enjoyed this very much. Thank you.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        I thank you most humbly for your most generous comment it is very important to me and most appreciated

                      • Friendship

                        Nicely written

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you very much Friendship your read is most appreciated

                        • arqios

                          The extended metaphorisation is excellently wielded. 🙏🕊️

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks my friend for the review and comment. Yes I tend to use metaphor quite a bit.

                          • Kevin Hulme

                            A Clock running backwards would suggest to me of Something in the Past that was traumatic.
                            A grim Atmosphere running through this .
                            Like it.

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much Kevin for the read and interpretation yes there is that part to it.

                              • Kevin Hulme

                                My Pleasure.

                              • NafisaSB

                                Poignant verse - touches the heart 🤔

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  Thank you Nafisa for your review and most kind words of support they are appreciated

                                  • NafisaSB

                                    My pleasure to read and comment on your work 💐

                                    • sorenbarrett

                                      Most kind of you

                                    • Poetic Dan

                                      Is that about me? You? Or some random soul it doesn't even matter each line was gold. Thank you with all of my heart and soul! Keep up the write and mind as you go!

                                      • sorenbarrett

                                        You are very kind Dan and your words mean a great deal and are most appreciated



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