Today I Found a Box Under My Bed

TODAY I FOUND A BOX UNDER MY BED

Today I found a box under my bed,

From back when I’d still wake up excited

For the day ahead, but now

I lie motionlessly awake in bed,

Just unwilling to get up.

There was a time, I vividly recall, when

I’d laugh at raindrops racing down windows;

Now I weep when they race down my cheeks.

Look around, the world is still the same,

Going on as though nothing changed.

I don’t think colour ever left the trees;

I think it just slipped away from me.

Was it while I was asleep?

Perhaps it fled with the salt that fell from my eyes,

Or maybe it just drowned with the words trapped in my throat.

So much has changed since then,

But in the end, nothing at all.

I’m still climbing the same old stairs,

Carrying a weight I cannot name,

Hoping I’ll find the person I left behind.

I put the box back under my bed,

Now heavier with pieces of my present.

I hope some years later, I’ll look back

And say, “I’m glad I made it through hell back then.”

Today I found a piece of me under my bed,

Something I had left for the future to caress.

I guess this is how it works;

We lose pieces of ourselves along the way,

Only to find them when we need them most.

 - Ria <3