Her misshapen breasts were the straightest things about her.
Unlike her personality, which corkscrewed wine going out of fashion.
We met on the other side.
In the dead of night.
I was dead; I said goodnight.
She was living on vampires' delight.
Do you want me to go down?
Go down, are you nuts?
Go down and get more wine.
Yeah, you go down and drink yourself to death.
I’ll do that, see you in the a.m.
Great, tell me how I did.
I will.
Seems I did great.
Don’t remember you being naked the last drink I saw you.
I came back for your promise, you made me work for it.
This slag’s been violated, hope you didn’t work to hard.
It was worth it, wine and frustration and masturbation lead to come-sation.
Wish I was there.
You were to a point, we shared a joint.
Talking about joints, don’t you have one to get back to.
Do you know, you can tell a lot about a man from his wine collection.
You would know, you drank most of it.
Do you fancy doing it in the shower.
Did you see Psycho.
I’ll get us a refill, goodbye sex is so hot.
Goodbye would be hotter.
Is this a good wine, I’ve poured it on my breasts.
What, that’s a hundred pounds a bottle, put it back.
Double pleasure for you when you lick it off.
You don't lick wine like that, you savour it.
Well savour it then, fifty pounds a breast.
Would be cheaper killing her; nobody would miss her anyway.
Is wine a good investment?
It was till I met you.
My dad’s left me some money; he was an oil baron, you know.
When you say oil baron, do you mean he delivered oil?
No, he owned wells in Texas
You’re winding me up.
No, I’m worth a fortune.
Wine is a good investment, we should go back to bed and discuss our future.
Things are finally looking up.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 4th, 2026 07:38
- Category: Humor
- Views: 19
- Users favorite of this poem: Carlos Alberto BUSTILLOS, Tristan Robert Lange, Friendship, Teddy.15, Nerd
Offline)
Comments6
Made me smile Paul, a fun read that was needed on a gray day. Well written my friend.
Strangely enough, grey here also.
A to E still cloudy no matter what side of the pond we are on.
Paul, this is wickedly funny…shameless, filthy, and completely committed to its own depravity. I laughed all the way through. Fantastic write, my friend! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
You need a laugh in these mad times.
Well done. Enjoy your humor, Paul
You need a laugh out there.
lol what ever floats your boat or indeed tickles your and taste buds try Chianti! 🍷 Paul your antics always bring me a smile.
Chianti and liver, my favourites.
You tell a story like no other paul
Brilliant read
She's still available.
Yea
The going down line terrified me though
Do vampires really exist 🤔the humor comes across though
They do at 4 in the morning.
Thank God I haven’t come across them then🤔😛
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.