The secrets that consume your mind, that never go away. Poem, by Friendship, at My poetic side

The secrets that consume your mind, that never go away.

For thirty turns of leaf and snow,

I locked the room and swallowed the key,

A silent ghost that nobody knows,

Yet haunting, hunting, consuming me.

A heavy vault in my own chest,

Where rusted terrors writhe and groan,

Denied the grace of peace and rest,

I die in agony, alone.

Two hands there were, in days gone by,

That reached across the darkening tide,

My mother—whom I fed a lie,

To keep the shame locked deep inside.

She looked at me with searching eyes,

Seeking the child she used to know,

But I built walls of porcelain lies,

And watched her gentle spirit go.

And he—who held me through the night,

My husband, warm against my skin,

I walked beside him in the light,

While monsters ate my soul within.

He would have carried half the weight,

He would have loved away the scar,

Too proud, too scared, too late, too late,

I pushed him off, an alien star.

Now thirty years have paid their toll,

The poison works in every vein.

There is no rescue for the soul,

When self-imprisoned by the pain.

The mother gone, the husband blind,

To burdens only I sustain:

I left the only keys behind,

And died of silence in my chain.

The secrets that consume your mind, that never go away.