Holograms In My Mind

I sit in the dark,

Held by holograms

Comforted , soothed ,

Taken care of,.. loved. 

I sit in the dark,

And suddenly the illusion breaks apart ,

And now I'm falling,

Falling 

Falling 

Falling 

Deep into the abyss.

The holograms turned out to be just in my mind,

The hands holding me evaporated into thin air,

And suddenly I'm alone again,

With no to catch me when I fall 

With no one to watch me drown in my mind; overwhelmed by it all .

I sit in the dark,

Paralysed by my mind as I watch my life fall apart,

I scramble to get a hold,

I run after what one would call a " comfort zone" 

Running after a comfort zone yet being buried to the throat in pain and discomfort ,

The irony is cruel .

Screaming above the noise,

Only for the " comfort" to be made of holograms ,

A fleeting relief ,

A transient moment amid my collapse.

I circle back to being with the holograms in my mind,

My mind; a place providing comfort and the most atrocious horrors I ever did find,

Every now and then, I'm struck with reality,

That the holograms are not real , 

The loneliness hits me like a train,

Yet I continue this cycle; until I will eventually go insane.