In a breath

sorenbarrett

From a distance a baby tetters on the edge
A tiny body toddles on a high window ledge
A cat ready to pounce on a baby sparrow
A child in the path of a runaway arrow

 

Too late to act, worse still to yell
Watching death run its course in a spell
A clock turned to ice, in the tic of a breath
Running in time's tar, out of reach life or death

Comments +

Comments11

  • soheil khodaparasti

    A haunting and beautifully tense poem. Powerful imagery captures that terrifying instant when danger unfolds faster than we can respond, creating a deeply unsettling emotional atmosphere.

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you Soheil as always I appreciate your review and understanding words. If it left such a feeling then it did its job. Thank you for your support my friend

      • soheil khodaparasti

        You are welcome. Your poems have a way of making the reader pause and truly feel the moment. As always, it is a pleasure to read your work.

        • sorenbarrett

          You are most kind my friend

        • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

          I have experienced those terror frozen moments my friend

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks so much Norman for the read and identifying comment it means a lot my friend.

            • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

              always most welcome my friend

            • Tristan Robert Lange

              Whew, Soren...this creates an awful kind of suspended terror. Everything is visibly moving toward disaster, yet time becomes thick and useless precisely when every fraction of a second matters. That sense of being forced to witness what you cannot reach is devastating. Powerful stuff, my friend! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

              • sorenbarrett

                Thank you Tristan you have caught the essence of the poem and that is most gratifying. I appreciate the read and comment my friend

              • Thomas W Case

                This is a tight, grim little meditation on helplessness, where every image puts life one heartbeat closer to disaster. The final “time’s tar” nails that awful feeling of watching something unfold while knowing you’re already too late to stop it.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thank you Thomas for reading this one and for your well thought comments they are most appreciated my friend

                • orchidee

                  Good write SB.

                • Prachi Dalvi

                  A very nice write !!!

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you so much for the read and comment it is appreciated

                  • Nerd

                    Beautiful and terrifying
                    Great work

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks so much I appreciate your read and comment

                    • Kevin Hulme

                      We've all had these moments in life when something had happened of a terrible Nature.
                      And replayed it over and over in our minds.
                      Well Said in your Write.

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you Kevin for the read and comment it is deeply appreciated

                      • cellinic

                        Rather a serious and deep write, if we dwell on its meaningful structure, with good poetic form... A fave

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you so much for the review and most kind words of encouragement and support they are deeply appreciated

                        • turningpoint

                          we sometimes feel ourlives are teetering on disaster like that
                          afriend or family member had an accident or is in a hospital my friend soren

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks so much for the read and comment my friend it is always most appreciated

                          • RSM0812

                            Always on the edge

                            • sorenbarrett

                              Thanks so much for the read and comment. Yes riding the edge can be exciting but also dangerous.



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