The Plan

He drives a hearse

Says it keeps him off the streets

Plus, he has an empathy with death

His dog died

One time, they brought this woman in

He started jumping up and down

The ex-wife, sheer elation

Sadly, it turned out to be somebody else

But he phoned just to check

He answered

She was fasting

Still trying to get down to that ideal weight, then

I’ll phone back in three years

One phone slammed down

It’s always the little things that cheer you up

Someday he thought

They would both come in together

Actually made the job worth doing

But for now

He would tenderly prepare the ex-wife's body double

Tonight, he would get back to his book

Titled

How to get away with it.