Reconciliation

You're here

Waiting, hoping, yearning

For me

To be here.

Yet

I brawl, crawl, drawl, bawl

balled up in the corner;

shutting my heart 

to the saving blood

which courses, pulses, vivifies

what is dead.

But the mud is nice here I guess.

It's cool, calm, collected

together on my skin, clothes and faces.

And I stare at you,

wondering why

I'm wasted

away in a corner

from you.

Then I think

Well,

I'm so useless

Too weak to even grab the hand

which grasps its tendrils calloused,

which years have worked to man

me up and bring me home.

I mean, I want to go...

Maybe?

In one breath you are everything:

The world, my love, my own.

Yet

Somehow every exhale bleeding,

Seems makes this world more like my home.

You refuse just to pick me up

You're seeking out my hand.

Like any marriage it takes two

To wear the wedding band.

I'm sorry, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, what I've done.

But help me in the daily,

I'll try be here for once.