I an extraordinary monkey man bar none...

christened Henry David Thoreau

did not win the genetic lottery,

for life - soon after being born
into the troop of primates),
although naturally birthed
as a robust simian proud
to be resident on Planet of the Apes,
who liked to swing and jitterbug
from branch to branch
but unfortunately
baldly went bananas,

a major stigma among our species,
(hence when at a young age)
deemed, considered unwelcome,
and subsequently ostracized

to the outer limits

of the twilight zone,

where allegory of dark shadows
bespoke Homo sapien
scientists donning
personal protective equipment (PPE),
including standard lab coats
for routine chemical work,
disposable Tyvek coveralls
for particulate or mild
chemical defense,
hazmat suits for hazardous materials,
and air-supplied
positive-pressure space suits
for extreme
biological pathogens (Biosafety Level 4)
trumpetting eagerness,
readiness and willingness
to diminish risk
of contracting monkey pox
after they did captcha me,
yet I guileless as a child
willingly surrendered being
embraced and accommodated
courtesy aforementioned naked apes
hence my life lived at the mercy
of being taught reading,
writing, and rithmetic
analogously consigned
to a doggone role of circus tricks
and laboratory rat
starring in La Cage aux Folles
(being probed and prodded
with various and sundry
blunt phallic instruments,
plus experimented as test animal),
closest to the human league
which assault upon hair covered body
carried out while
being forcibly restrained
courtesy straight jacket and shackles,
heavily sedated courtesy tranquilizers
since being relatively young and restless,
(hence no surprise
found me exiled at an early age

where I spent young juvenile years,
puberty, adolescence
and emerging adulthood
in veritable penal solitude,
punishment unanimously decided
among the troop
of fellow bipedal simians,
where days of my life spent
as the world turned
hijacked emotional, physical
and social development,
which essentially stunted

body, mind and spirit triage
such that maturation
essentially and figuratively frozen
thus when old enough,
I willingly volunteered
as a guinea pig for humans
to be subjected to cryonics
(or cryopreservation -,

the word for freezing
a body after death

videlicet the practice of cooling
human remains
to very low temperatures

usually in liquid nitrogen)

with the hope
so that future science
could revive me, a heavy duty sleeper,
ala wool gatherer,
hence at the age of legal consent
readily admitting to self:
giving affirmative nod
and take off hat to Fiona Apple
songstress credited writing
The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
than the Driver of the Screw
and Whipping Cords
Will Serve You
More than Ropes Will Ever Do
her words couched in hidden meaning
spiritually released me
after being hermetically sealed
if and when the prospect
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
(freedoms never tasted -
forever foredoomed),
thus naturally oblivious
to the danger fields
divining rod housed in my knee
jumping at the prospect
waiting for an adventure
ideally being abducted
by an extraterrestrial
otherwise known as
Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena
lurking and poised to strike
when the iron's hot
interestingly enough felis catus
courtesy smart talking Tuxedo feline
catapulted to cosmic fame and fortune
the head honcho

averse to torture, captcha
refrained from binding me tight
feigned head to toe
with just enough wiggle room

to practice impersonating
preening and primping

myself as Nicola Tesla,
(whom yours truly closely resembled,
yet not as brilliantly gifted)

but like Harry Houdini
able to free myself
of being bound and gagged,

and when asked by a guard
what provisions I
(alias Rumpelstiltskin) might desire,
observed a quizzical look
in the eyes of my inquisitors
upon nonchalantly requesting
tools of the trade

courtesy a knick knack paddy whack
give a dog a bone

after whiling away the hours
with absolute zero distractions
spun straw into
fiber optic cables
and silver sneakers
a requirement to participate
in fitness programs
at Spring Valley Y.M.C.A. and other gyms,

and thus yours truly knew
freedom to reduce
flab from ab did loom large
"Roger," which does not stand
for an acronym, but instead,
represents the old voice
phonetic alphabet code word
for the letter R,
which historically stood for "Received"
in radio and Morse code communications.