Quiet suffering

sorenbarrett

Blame in tumultuous rain falls on the silent stream
Swelling its banks in muddied waters hiding clarity's gleam
Floods of debris float on the surface of a nightmare's dream

 

Rushing torrents sweep away once peaceful babble
Now the rushing water's flow rages through rocks of rabble
In raging fingers of white water they scratch and scrabble

 

Eroding its own banks with a fire hose's force
Slinging rock and mud in swelling rage it changes it course
Without remorse destruction shoots from its source

 

Leaving only a field of muck where once green grass grew
Fetid bubbling gas out of a swamp like stew
Rains of blame that peaceful nature slew

Comments +

Comments13

  • soheil khodaparasti

    A powerful flood as a metaphor for blame and destruction.
    The greatest tragedy is not the turmoil itself, but the lasting damage it leaves behind.

    • sorenbarrett

      Thank you very much Soheil for the read and understanding of the piece. Yes I agree it is the aftermath that is the saddest.

      • soheil khodaparasti

        You are welcome.

      • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

        good write my friend

      • delusions

        The river almost feels less like water and more like something remembering what it was supposed to be. Lovely, my friend.

        • sorenbarrett

          Thank you so much my friend for your review and interpretation. There is that aspect of it and that gives new meaning. Thanks so much

          • delusions

            My pleasure 🙂

          • Lorenz

            when everything has calmed down all that remains is a fleeting remorse for what once was...

            • sorenbarrett

              Indeed tis so my friend. Thanks for the read and comment as poetic as the poem.

            • Paul Bell

              Yes, if nature isn't burning us alive, she's drowning us, which tells me she's had enough.
              Something has to give, and with a force like nature, it doesn't do to annoy the great woman.

              • sorenbarrett

                Thanks Paul I appreciate the read and comment and I would agree with you. Like a woman with too many children she will leave them to take care of themselves.

              • orchidee

                Good write SB.
                Erm, I thought you was gonna write about my marriage to KP, with that title. Though I hardly ever see her in person - only on the telly, in papers, magazines, at the Old Trout pub, and a hundred etc's. lol.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks Orchi for the read and comment my friend. Yes count yourself lucky then

                • Neville



                  water much like fire is a force to be reckoned with .. a good friend but you wouldn't want it for an enemy ..

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thank you my friend for the review and comment, yes so true I would not want it for an enemy. I have fought currents and waves and know my force is no match.

                  • GenXer Sharon 🙏🍀

                    The metaphors are perfect

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thank you Sharon I deeply appreciate your kind and generous comment

                    • Tristan Robert Lange

                      What a powerful extended metaphor, Soren! The silent stream absorbs every downpour until its clarity is buried and its restrained suffering becomes destructive force. It speaks painfully to how relentless blame can transform the very person expected to endure it quietly. Excellent poem, my friend! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                      • sorenbarrett

                        Thank you Tristan for getting the meaning of the metaphor so completely that in itself is gratifying. Your words are most appreciated

                      • Teddy.15

                        A timeless piece that applies to all. 🌹

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thank you Teddy for the read and kind comment it is most appreciated my friend

                        • Kevin Hulme

                          Reminds me of those fools in Parliament. Blaming each other for all our Ills.
                          And it's us: Joe Public picking up the pieces.
                          Good Write.

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks so much Kevin for your read and comment. Yes blame is an ugly game.

                            • Kevin Hulme

                              My Pleasure.

                            • David Wakeling

                              Quite a description of nature at its worst here. Yet it ends.I always learn from your poems.Great work amigo.

                              • sorenbarrett

                                Thank you David for the read and kind words they are appreciated

                              • arqios

                                Blame is indeed the destructive force in community. We were always reminded that the accusing finger when pointed, leaves the other three pointing to self. And quiet suffering doesn't stay quiet forever!

                                • sorenbarrett

                                  Thanks so much Cryptic I appreciate your words my friend

                                  • arqios

                                    Most welcome, dear Soren. Please pardon the delay. Been pounded this whole week or two, even. 👍🏻🕊️

                                    • sorenbarrett

                                      No problem I have been there before and may be again some day.



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