The priest came on at Paddington
Sat across from me
I nodded in a nonchalant way
He gazed inside of me
So strange
Like he knew
Where I was going to
Mrs Black, just sex
Well, that’s not really true
There was her friend
But that was because Mrs Black had the flu
You can understand the sacrifice I made
I know you can relate
Don't look at me like that
I was getting round to Pat and Jill
But you should know
They said they were on the pill
I know I don't see the kids
You can understand
Being a man of the cloth
The busy lives we lead
Time just gets away
I suppose in a way we’re both the same
Tending to our flocks
Putting the world to rights
Me and you
We are the few
He got up to leave
I feel his hand on my sleeve
Enough said
He punches me on the head
I’m in total confusion
He makes the sign
Go with God, my son
I've administered your absolution.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 23rd, 2026 05:18
- Category: Humor
- Views: 11
- Users favorite of this poem: Tristan Robert Lange
Offline)
Comments5
Although humor, dark humor it is truth in the form of a joke. Sardonic one might say a tap of the priest and you are on your way. For one's sins one must pay, in advance discounted today.
Yes, no absolution for this guy.
Indulgences maybe?
Priest a bit of a spoilsport, methinks.
It's the eleventh commandment wot counts.
I think so. This is why I don't use trains, with my guilty conscience.
There’s a damn darkly comic twist here, with the priest becoming an unexpected mirror for the speaker’s guilt and excuses. The final punch—literally and figuratively—works beautifully because “absolution” arrives not through forgiveness, but through a priest who seems to have judged the confession perfectly.
Yeah, I think the Priest judged him quicker than he might have expected.
Doh! There was a priest who said 'I'm a man of peace, and if you don't agree with me, I will punch you on the nose!'
I think it was that guy. lol
Arghh! lol.
Paul, this is wickedly funny. The narrator’s shameless rationalizing builds perfectly toward a form of pastoral care I definitely missed in seminary...yet somehow it feels entirely appropriate. Fantastic write, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
I think he learned his lesson. lol
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