TWO FEET OF GLOBAL WARMING

I walked out of my house today
and to my great surprise,
two feet of global warming lay
atop my car and drive.
I own no snow-blower see,
so out the shovel came.
How can frozen water weigh this much?
My back struggles and strains…

The weatherman did not predict
this austere field of white.
I swear to God, I hate those fools,
they never get it right.
At this rate I will never get
to the market in town,
I’ve got two feet of global warming
and it still is coming down.

The shovel strains, the plastic warps,
as I push piles to the lawn.
Sweating this much in winter time
just feels so very wrong.
I carve a path down to the street,
a plow comes rumbling,
a wall of global warning flies
trapping me once again.

Friggin' ridiculous...I'm moving to Texas!