i am who i am

Mascara stained, tears stream down my face

I wish it didn't have to be this way, but i'm closing the case

Who's here for me now while i'm chained? And drained,

Of any possible gain of dignity

And oh how deep my feelings were buried, but something tamed will eventually escape and break through walls, shattering glass, screaming at the top of my lungs i say

“I hate you!” 

But how much truth is there really in the statement?

When my thinking is clouded by emotions instead of logic do i truly mean what i say? Am i who's to blame?

But at the end of the day it is inevitable

When being numb for so long gets too exhausting my control will falter

When lacking attention all my life catches up to me how will i cope?

I long for your comfort, i interlope

I keep my distance though, why make an even bigger fool of myself?

So when i’ve calmed myself down i can't help but try to understand

And i do, i do in fact see perspectives besides my own

But when understanding brings the cost of losing your dignity it makes you wonder

If understanding is really worth it for people who would never try to understand you.

I am revolving, i'm stuck in a circle 

So i lose sleep and pray to my Lord to forgive me