Do You See Me , Mother?

Do you see me?

A little?

At all?

Am I invisible, mother?

Do you see me?

Do you see my struggles?

Do you see my pain?

Or do you just see the tip of the glacier?

Do you just see what's above the surface?

Do you ever wonder, mother?

What's buried deep down underneath?

Or are you content ,

Satiated and satisfied ,

With the shell of who I am,

Floating above the surface,

Like a dead body ,

Because you are content with not knowing my reality.

Do you see me, mother?

Or do you just like to yell and point out flaws ,

Like you've always done,

But I suppose old habits die screaming,

Mother , do you see it ? Something inside of me is rotten.

There is a pit inside my stomach, mother,

And all the monsters are trying to climb out ,

I want to stop them , mother,

But my hands are tied ,

I can't stop them.

The monsters , they have me in a chokehold,

They control every breath, every tear, every heartbeat,

They are suffocating me , 

Do you see it , mother?

Or would you rather play pretend while I die like a candle being dimmed ,

While I choke on my own words ,

And throw up my insides , and with it, my hope, my will to live.

Do you see me?

A little?

At all?

Am I invisible, mother?