Her Name Was Past

The past keeps running after me with joy and pain.
She yells, “Wait up for me! I have something to say!”
I yell back, “I can’t. I can’t bear to see.”
She yells, “It’s only for a minute. Don’t be so weak.”

And I run faster and faster with every breath,
my hair flying behind me,
my chest burning with every gasp of air,
and my eyes becoming blurry
with flashes of grief.

Why is the past so haunting
even with the smile she brings?

She’s still coming, yelling for me to stop,
but I ignore her
and run faster to the top.

Waiting on the hill to catch my breath,
but when she starts to catch up,
I go running again.

Till my legs are too weak
and my head starts to spin,
I fall to my knees
and catch myself with my hands.

She runs over
and pats my head.

“Why are you running?” she asks.

I close my eyes, not bearing to see.

“I don’t want to remember anything.”

She sits and sighs with dread.

“If you could only see
how blessed you have been.”

And I tell her,
“I can’t look back at them.
Some are happy, and some are sad.
Some are too painful
and mad.”

She says with a bittersweet smile,

“If only you knew.

“You are to look me in the eyes and understand why,
see what you should and shouldn’t have done,
learn from me,
and accept the new.

And you are supposed to keep looking back
to remember their faces,
so when you bow your head,
you can still pray.”

You are supposed to look back
on those heart-filled, sorrowful moments,
so you can see how precious
the good ones really are.

And if you keep running from me,
you will only be on your knees again,
with agony.

You can’t run from the past,
and you can’t hide from the future.

You can face them both in the eyes
and remember
and choose to be happy
with the things they bring.

Whether it’s a trial,
a burden,
a lost old soul,
or a troubling memory,

you are the present.
And you have the power.

What more could you ask for
but to choose to see the bright
and happy?

Remember the springs,
not just the winters.

See the rainbow after the storm,
and look to the flowers
that need rain and sun
to grow.

So I ask,
why run from the past
when you have the power
to change tomorrow?