Belly bumping bed thumping gone wild

Yours truly and the missus
cannot hug each other
cause abdominal subcutaneous
fat gets in the way,
thus we bounce off each other
similar to Teletubbies.
Not only Teletubbies
also favorably inclined
to commingle with
the five costumed, furry,
gumdrop-shaped characters
from the children's television series
Boohbah collectively called the Boohbahs,
but both fictional characters
live a prohibitive
distance from each other
thus evolving into playful entities
with the following distinct colors:
Humbah: Yellow
Zumbah: Purple
Zing Zing Zingbah: Orange
Jumbah: Blue
Jingbah: Pink
The Boohbahs live
inside the Boohzone,
a colorful, bubble-filled world,
and travel around
inside a glowing white vehicle
called the Boohball,
and rejuvenate themselves
inside the Boohball,
they sleep and recharge
in special fuzzy pods.

She's since slimming down
once being mistaken
for an Oompa Loompa
a fictional, short-statured worker
in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory
from Roald Dahl's
1964 book Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory
standing proud
as a runway model
to resemble Olive Oyl
which Popeye salivates to wolf down
as an omnivore
he balances his diet of worms gulping
can after can of spinach
to luxuriate liberating libido
with bulging muscles and clammy hands
profusely adrip with perspiration,
and beat back better Bluto
by busting him in the chops
similar to a doddering baby boomer
I know like the back of my hand
afflicted with palmar hyperhidrosis,
and prescribed glycopyrrolate
courtesy Doctor Harold Milstein,
the brain child of his practice
known across bajillion dollar
business of cosmetic surgery,
whereat his Advanced Dermatology business
clients travel far and wide to undergo;
Rhinoplasty (Nose Surgery):
Reshapes or resizes the nose
to improve facial balance
or breathing function.
Facelift (Rhytidectomy):
Tightens underlying tissues
and removes sagging skin
to reduce visible aging
on the lower face and neck.
Blepharoplasty (Eyelid Surgery):
Removes excess skin
or fat from the upper
and lower eyelids
to correct drooping lids or puffiness.
Chin and Cheek Augmentation:
Uses implants or reshaping techniques
to define facial 
contours and proportions,
and of course
not to overlook
Genital cosmetic surgery
exists and includes
a variety of elective procedures
designed to alter the appearance
or structure of the genitalia.
According to the
American Society of Plastic Surgeons,
“there are a variety
of aesthetic genital
plastic surgery procedures
that may enhance appearance
and reduce discomfort,”
not surprising these procedures
performed by specialists
like plastic surgeons
and gynecologists
for both aesthetic
and comfort reasons,
especially increasing by magnitudes
that out rival quaking
and rocking beyond the measurement
of the Richter scale,
and contribute to bedlam,
which above prevarication
influenced me not only
the lines listed above,
but also to concoct
the following non-sequitur melange,
to stem the tide of a raging bit torrent
drowning netizens within the cyber sea,
a worse fate than
contracting a computer virus
from taking a bite size byte out of an Apple
symbolizing the verboten fruit
sealing the fate not only of Snow White
but countless prior millenniums.

Eve succumbed to stark realization
of her nakedness,
felt fear and shame,
nevertheless shared the fruit with Adam
and according to gospel truth
sired (according to the Bible, -
please pardon any sacrilegious statements)
the only named children
of Adam and Eve christened
Cain, Abel, andSeth,
though scripture notes
they had many other
unnamed sons and daughters.
poetic forcefully fused together
discordant figments of my imagination
as read within the book of Google
(cue the long weight videlicet
chrome attic scales
under lock and key
barricaded by none other 
than Pippi Longstocking,
who barred entry into the garret)
hid from God,
and faced expulsion
from the Garden of Eden
alongside doing penance
for lifelong hardships
such as getting Citizens Bank
checking accounts compromised
courtesy malware
time and time and time again

during the Roosevelt administration.