ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜᴀᴅᴏᴡ

I write for I can't stop feeling
I'm ripping words to form a sentence
Sentences to form a poem or such
I'm trying to understand

Trying to find the core of the matter
Trying to find whats wrong
Trying to take the bullet out
So that it may heal the wound

The clock ticks beside me 
And with each second that passes
I exist with this parasite in me;
I exist without living.

A shadow sits beside me, mocking my attempt
I know not whether It is a beast or man
Whether It is real or just in my head
And It laughs for I may never find out

I study the shadow, but I don't understand what i see
It's my fears and ambition, Its every dream that'll never be
It's my guilt and pride, It's what is expected of me
It's all I want to be and all I fear I might become

It's watching me with pleasure while I struggle to understand
It won't leave me for a second, It wont leave me alone
For the shadow is no beast, the shadow is no man
The shadow is me.

It's watching me as I realise
And a smile spreads across its face
For I know I can't get rid of myself,
For I know I can't escape

It can't become me, I think and i hope.
I hope if its water, I'm oil
I hope if its sand, im the beach
I hope if its the sun, I'm the moon
I wish it wasn't ME

I see it in the mirror,
I hear it when I speak,
And I can't cut out it,
I can't cut me.

I can only watch It settle deeper and deeper
In the core of my belief,
In the core of my spirit,
In the core of my psyche.

But I can't escape.
How can I escape me?