Distant future or mere dream

I sat in silence 

I stared at the ceilings 

Then my mind just ran,

Not in a good way and not in a bad way 

But in such a realistic way 

They talk about doors that are opened 

Opportunities,and a guaranteed future 

But when I started filling those applications in 

It wasnt cause I knew I would get in 

But because ive made peace with my reality 

Doors that were opened are slammed shut right in my face,big dreams,a future that seemed soo close is now nothing but a distant dream

You know it felt kinda familiar.. then I remembered my dream one where im running but getting nowhere 

I've invested soo much time and effort in something that I know wont work 

But I do it, just to make peace with it,

I do it so I can eventually be satisfied with JUST trying but the real question is whats my destiny 

What does my future look like

I guess thats something we'll never know.