A game

I push and pull

I get

I delay

I don’t receive 

I wait

I wonder

I commit

I overthink

I pull back

I wait for them to pull me

It’s all a game

I don’t know if I agreed to it

I might even be the creator

But it makes me sick

I’m losing at my own game

I don’t know how to play

I don’t know who I’m playing with

And I don’t know how to stop playing