All Poets go to Heaven

All Poets go to Heaven and Ole
Lucifer thinks it's just as well,
because poems about sorrow and death
depress him. Someone said he actually
shed a tear once. What was his name?
I won't tell.

He used to have fun making mortals
angry and sad; a mastermind of psychology
was he. Then along came poets
who mixed magic words with fiery
emotions and told him, "you're no
longer alone in your antagonizing
scheme!

Of course Satan was outraged! He
sent unholy terror through each and
every poet's soul, yet some actually
embraced his wrath and sold their inspired
words for coins of gold!

The other half went insane and no
longer knew who or where they were.
They walked through life expressionless
but they'll never forget that
fateful day their souls were terrorized;
of that, you know I'm sure!

Well, he vowed he'd kill every one
of them but in the game between good
and evil, that's not allowed, so he
tried every trick he had in the book,
he even stomped his feet and paced up
and down!

Then one day while inspecting a new
crew, Satan looked sharp and shouted,
"No! This cannot be!" Yes, there was
a man: a poet, sporting a smile on his
lips and would you believe it: he was
dropped to his humble knees!

The man said, "thanks for giving me
the inspiration to make a million up
there. I realize I had to give up my
soul but the blessed pain you sent
through my spirit made me enough fortune
and fame to satisfy me for Eternity. I
owe it all to you, so hey, (he winked)
I guess fair is fair!"

Old Beelzebub's nostrils began to
flair and fire burst from his ash covered
hair! No more poets from this
day on will ever set foot on my fiery
lawn! Begone poet! Go make someone
miserable up there! After all it's
like you said, right? Fair is only
fair.

So you see, that's why all poets go
to Heaven. Satan would rather catch
sinners and unsaved souls off guard;
not kamikaze poets with one foot in
the grave and a six-foot hole in their
backyard!