crying a little louder so someone could notice

I used to wonder why my family was never happy, why I was never truly happy, what things would be like I died and if that'd make people care

 

It should've been an early sign that I've never felt truly okay, but it's always these hidden things that are overlooked like the patterns on a specific snowflake out of millions

 

I wrote this poem for you, I drew how I felt, but it all came out wrong, I was feeling so alone and done curled up in my death bed

 

They always find me way past expiration, trapped in a chest covered in moss and a cloud of thoughts that suck in anything in a moment caught off guard

 

But I guess you found a way to get through after feeling nothing at all, there were so many ways of us going wrong but I turned a blind eye because I thought I was in love

 

What if we were just living off the lies I'd forged to be looked at, to be noticed, to be loved? Sometimes you appear in my dreams, covered in fading shadows and I admit you might've been in the wrong

 

Nobody would've listened to my sobs at night and screams in my head except for figures of my wild imagination who would keep me company when I was stuck in my head

 

I don't know what came over me to reach out again, I've just really been hurting and didn't think I could do this anymore

 

Sometimes I realize that I'll never really truly believe things can get better because damn it, you stole my whole childhood, all of you

 

It will never affect you as much as it did to me. And that's what hurts most.

 

But, is it enough that I've stopped wishing for a tomorrow? Is it enough that I've stopped wishing to be loved?

Tell me, is it enough that I wake up every morning wishing I didn't? Tell me.. Is. It. Enough?

 

Oh, dear soul, I know it's impossible to cope but it won't be like this for long, it won't have to be if you finally let go of the grip you have on the cliff that's holding you between life and death

 

Maybe someday they'll wake up and realize this is the ending that life had always planned out for me hidden in the game code, the ending I expected, the ending I stopped believing was a curse

 

As I write this poem dedicated to a heart whom actually chose the right path in life, know that this is

A cry

For help.