He slit her throat, and watched as six pints of blood ruined the new floor that had taken him the best part of the day to lay
That was typical of the woman
Red was her favourite colour
This would amuse her greatly
Anything to cause him grief
She was such a messy woman
Shoes, don’t get him started on shoes
One hundred pairs
Who needs one hundred pairs of shoes
He should phone the police
They would understand
Probably be sympathetic
Surprised you never done it years ago mate
In fact, the best thing to do is cut her head off
Put it on a pole
Hang it up in the street to deter other women
That’s what he would do
It worked; women were running and screaming everywhere
He watched as ten Police cars stopped off to congratulate him
You okay mate
Yes, thanks lads, never been better
Just cooking Mary for lunch.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: September 15th, 2026 06:38
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 10
- Users favorite of this poem: Friendship, Kevin Hulme, Tristan Robert Lange
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Comments5
Bloody Mary? is that the drink of the day? Wow! the mind of the insane as it devolves, but who is insane. Of course the one that doesn't fit. A darkly humorous poem of derangement that is life and death. Well written my friend.
I don't think he got off with a fine for that.
Temporary insanity works for some.
wonderful dark humour
You need a laugh these days.
we do it indeed
Just the sheeer blooly darkness of the humour lets you off with a caution...
This tiny caution relates to the number of women who are actually murdered by their male partners, which is not small at all...
Yes, although this is tongue and cheek, all forms of violence against women must be called out.
Hi Paul. Apologies for the snipe. At the moment the media here has taken on the theme of domestic homicide and hammers it from time to time with police and pollies (especially Pollies) bubbling away with disapproval. At the same time housing prices are out of control, shortage of refuges… the whole thing pisses me off big time. So if you can do something about it….. no, neither can I…
You know politicians, anything to look good.
Have you got a shortage of refuges, we've got thousands we want rid off.
House prices here are mental too. Wish I'd bought ten twenty years ago, i'd be a billionaire now.
True about the Shoes. Some have more Footwear than a Millipede.
Wonderful Dark Humour. A fave.
What do women do with them.
Why do many Shoes? That's up there with The Meaning of life and Why are Ant and Dec so popular. 👍
Paul, what a grotesquely funny descent into madness. Petty resentment becomes atrocity, misogyny becomes public spectacle, and authority arrives to validate the nightmare. Dark, absurd, and savagely effective, my friend. 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦⬛
He's happy in his own padded cell now.
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