Frustratio In Se Ipsum

Try as she might to succeed
Her perseverance is endless
And yet those who are underserving
Come in and take what is not theirs to bear

Is it fair? She cries. Am I not worthy of this
What have I done to deserve being pushed aside?
Will they ever know the effort she has given?
Do they even care

Back she bounces once again
Forced back into her cloud of despair
A losing battle she will always fight
And never shall the universe ever let her succeed.

The girl who once was so bright and happy
Now reduced to the shadow
And there she will stay for no one cares
Of the girl who always gave her best

Never shall the world see her face behind the mask
Her gracious okays will float in the air
Okay after okay after okay.
Yet deep in her heart she breaks like glass

Knowing she will never be good enough
Never be fast enough
Never be smart enough
Never perfect enough to be in the light

She will stand on the pedestal they have put her on
A false sense of hope in her cracked heart
Only to be torn down by words shaped like knives
That tear at her skin, attempting to kill.

She cannot cry, cannot bargain, cannot beg
Try as she might to hide the pain
The sharp burning that threatens her eyes with tears
She cannot cry here, cannot show her pain

She must wait until she is alone
Must wait with her heart in turmoil.
When alone she can cry
When alone she can hate

When alone she can yell and scream and cry
When alone she can be free
Until then she must sit in silence
Supress the tears ailing her eyes

Hide the glass heart that could take no more
Pretending she is happy
Pretending she is not hurt
Pretending. Always pretending.