A Counterfeit Affection

It was ages ago

When our eyes first met

In that selfsame hour -

I perceived that my soul, 

was bound by divine favor

But how could I be sure

If your heart is ready to receive me?

I’m a stranger you don’t know,

An unfamiliar face

As if I haven't tried 

to win your gaze

As the reality of my defeat set in,

A tear slipped down my cheek

Moments before we first talked, 

I had no idea what to expect

your voice is music that brings peace to your soul -

while your grin chases away your sorrow and dries every tear

Little did I know

That your grins are just a mask for your lies

Deception lived on your breath

A fierce beast cloaked in breathtaking grace

I could never say for certain

Why does my heart refuse to mend?

Its breaking point had passed, 

Leaving its cadence fragile and undone

I wanted you to understand

That all I want is to be your companion 

But I didn’t know I was prevaricating

While deep within, 

A voice was desperately crying out "Good-bye!"

Never did I believe?

You assume the worst of me

After everything,

You still suspect me

A savior to some, 

a destroyer to others

A toxic spirit 

with a handsome shell

Holding you close and needing you 

is my greatest peace,

Never a mistake

A thousand tears now mourn 

the instant I let love blind me at first sight

And yes I harbor even deeper regrets

For playing with fire when your days were dull

You can't fool me anymore

Yet here I am, still permitting it

My hypocritical chest craving skin over substance

With the person who is guarding their heart 

It took me a million attempts to stay, 

but only one second for you to push me away

My patient slipped away into the quiet night, 

And the well of my weeping finally ran dry

Should I say, "Until we meet again"

Or should I say, "Do I need to weep before I am heard"

It’s just too elementary for now I get

That I just wanted to be your companion