mad

I am not

Going mad

Even when holding my

Numb head in my

Wilting hands

Wondering how everyone else

Seems to understand

I am not

Going mad

Even when whimpering

From the strain of pain

Curled up again

On the floor, tears endured

I promise you I am

Not

Going mad

I am doing what I must

To get through

It doesn’t feel like I

Am getting through

Yet I

Am

I am getting up

Just to feed the cat

Take my meds while I do that

Might as well brush the hair

I can feel like

There’s no reason to care

Without inflicting it on my head

Sometimes I feel

Like I am losing it

Living life, abusing it

I almost feel like

My place in the world

Would have been better

Given to someone who does not

Feel like she’s going insane

But I am not

And my place in this world

Won’t be replaced

By someone else

Because there needs to be a me

To write my poetry

My head is

Aching

Heart barely stitched back up

From all the breaking

Hands still shaking

But I don’t

Sit around waiting

To get better

I am not

Going mad

I am not sure I

Will ever understand

But even when

I am caressing the aching forehead

In my wilting hands

I have not gone mad

This is all

I have

And I will not

Spend my time

Being mad

01:11am - 02/10/26 - my bed.