Alone

I feel so alone and I can’t fight through,
I’m drowning in my own darkness, and I’m reaching for you
I’m sinking deeper and deeper , I can’t find my way out
Nobody can hear my call , I’m losing my ability to shout
I am surrounded by people that don’t seem to know ,
How far I have fallen from grace, how strong was the blow
I need you to reach for me, for I can hear your call
I need rescued from this trench, deeper I will fall
My nails are all packed with mud, from my clawing hands
My body is shaking and cold, and I can no longer stand
Send me your love so I can feel the warmth of your soul
Yours the only one that can save me , and make me once again whole

In brash youth and foolishness I pushed you away
In a world that values independence I wanted to make my own way
I was weak and small but so full of pride
I had to prove something to others without you by my side

I will never be alone,
with Jesus by my side.
I can close my heart off to Him,
or I can open it wide.
I know depression is very real.
It's something you do but don't want others to see.
Still, I always know that I can pray,
because Jesus will listen to me.
So all the basic instructions before leaving earth,
are in the Book of The Lord.
So when I fight the devil,
I will use it as my sword.

Times like this make me really feel alone ,
Being accused of patronizing when I put away access to my phone ,
I disappeared from everyone until I could work a few things out,
Apologize for going off grid - though it was hard digging out
I tried to put away my fear and come back to civilization again,
To be pushed aside as if I committed an unforgivable sin,
Now I know where I stand and I guess this is good bye
I’ll still be writing here though I don’t understand why,
Guess I’ll forever be alone - just me and my thoughts ,
Writing them here but proud of how hard I have fought
I’m out of the hole now, never to go back ,
I’ll be lost from those I love - and I’ll never know the qualities I lack ,
I may be alone but I’ll always have my Father above,
He has opened my eyes and has shown me that the ONLY TRUTH IS HIS LOVE

I walk alone beneath a sky that knows no name,
Carrying silent storms no stranger could explain.
The world is full of voices, yet so few feel true,
So I found a little peace in the silence I walked through.
I no longer chase the warmth of hearts that come and go,
Somewhere between the hurt and healing, I learned to grow.
For even lonely souls hold galaxies unseen,
And solitude can nurture what the world has never been.
Perhaps I am not broken, just tired of pretending,
Learning that some lonely roads are where we find our mending.
And if I have to walk alone until my skies turn blue,
I would rather lose the crowd than lose the real me too.