Run down

sorenbarrett

In need of just a cot I thought not about the rot and searched only for the cheapest hotel
Soon I found the spot, a place where gangland shooting were fought, so I did hear tell
The TV was chained down, sheets were mended and dingy brown, as to maintenance it'd been a spell
Was on the bad side of town, in the ashtray cigarette butts still layen around, had a moldy smell

 

Had a hole in the door where a bullet had passed before, I was told a man had been killed here last night
Security was poor, lock busted loose of the core, with forced entry from the gun fight
Never worry about disease, but the bites of these fleas on my knees kept me from sleeping right
Blanket so thin thought I'd freeze, loose door let in the breeze, couldn't get it to shut tight

 

On the phone had a lock, had to pay to talk, the bath with smell of urine was full of dead roaches
Opening the closet I got a shock, the floor was just dirt and rock, strung webs for spider approaches
Although I wasn't picky the carpet was short and sticky, a burnt mark where an iron had laid
On it navigation was tricky, socks soon became icky, this place never had a maid

 

Next morning thought I'd change, because in these parts a suit looked strange, fearing a raid
Left early to get out of police and gang range, a taxi did arrange my bill thirty three dollars I paid

Comments +

Comments9

  • Paul Bell

    I'm thinking this wasn't the Hilton hotel.
    Actually, the five star rating it seems, is getting out alive.
    This is why you must read the small print when you're booking those life changing holidays.
    Take it you'll not be going back.

    • sorenbarrett

      A small motel in Lakeland Florida (won't mention the name but even the name was thrifty) some thirty six years ago. Thanks so much for the read Paul and the comment. A quick write where not much embellishment was required.

    • Teddy.15

      33 Dollars was cheap for all that! 🤣 I've been in some holes myself through the years the worst in Jamaica. Brilliant imagery dear sorrenbarret 🌹

      • sorenbarrett

        Thanks Teddy for the read and comment yes that was thirty six years ago inflation would make it more today.

        • Teddy.15

          I was in Jamaica around 33 years ago!

        • nephilim56 ( Norman Dickson)

          A fine piece my friend

        • orchidee

          Good write SB. Ahh, an idea of where I could book KP in for a month. lol. Dunno why she complains - it sounds ideal for her. lol.

          • sorenbarrett

            Thanks Orchi for the read and yes she will have to fight the roaches for her food.

            • orchidee

              She thought a roach would be a fish, and said 'yummy'. But no, I dished up cockroaches! lol.

              • sorenbarrett

                If properly cooked they are sanitized

              • Tony Grannell

                Hello, Soren,

                From your last poem to this, what a dramatic and drastic change. The whole poem in itself is a crime scene and expressed brilliantly in aptly applied hard language. It's not a place one would leave but flee from, as your early exit confirms. Hardboiled and unsettling. Excellent!

                Fond regards,

                Tony.

                • sorenbarrett

                  Thanks so much Tony I look to you as an authority in narrative poetry and from you that means a lot. Yes this was a place I did not want to spend more than one night. Was there for a job interview and being a cheap bastard and two other interviews to go to decided to make it a short stay. Appreciate the kind words my friend. Have a great day

                • Doggerel Dave

                  Hey Soren; over not a few travel experiences I think I can safely claim to have experienced 96 – 98% of those hospitality infringements although I see no mention of a short sheeted bed and do find aircon via a hole in the door lacking in sophistication, so have managed to make marginally more up market choices than that. I also cannot claim to have experienced them all at the one time. Like my pleasures, they have been spread over a more lengthy period.
                  Enjoyed (if that is an appropriate word) your write up.

                  • sorenbarrett

                    Thanks Dave it taught me a lesson about being cheep and don't plan to spend more time at such establishments despite the savings. Appreciate the read and comment my friend.

                  • Kevin Hulme

                    Makes The Bates Motel sound Ideal.
                    A good Write.

                    • sorenbarrett

                      Thanks Kevin I appreciate the read and comment. Yes not where I want to spend the rest of my life.

                      • Kevin Hulme

                        My Pleasure.

                      • Tristan Robert Lange

                        Soren, I'm still trying to get past the dead roaches! 😂 At what point does the health department stop issuing citations and just condemn the entire building? Good grief! 🌹🖤🙏🕯️🐦‍⬛

                        • sorenbarrett

                          Thanks Tristan for the read and comment. I wondered the same thing but either they are lazy, over worked or corrupt in Florida or just afraid to visit the area. Maybe given it is a tropical place there is an allowance for bugs. Any way decided to live in the state but not the area. Appreciate you my friend.

                        • arqios

                          Now that was an experience and a half; oh man! 👍🏻🕊️

                          • sorenbarrett

                            Thanks for the read my friend it is as always most appreciated. One of those who's memory comes back from time to time to haunt the mind.

                            • arqios

                              And poetry is quite a potent preservative 👍🏻🕊️



                            To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.