The Beautiful Pharmaceutical - The complete saga 2008 - 2026

(Part 1 - 2008)

You chill me out and help me sleep when I've been up all weekend and had nothing to eat

It's my love of amphetamines that has caused all the problems

You're the perfect antidote to that horrible poison

I must obtain you illegally without a prescription

I suppose you too have become an addiction 

But you're so cute, little round and blue

My girlfriend would be jealous if she knew my true feelings for you 

You lift me up and turn my emotions around when the working week has got me down

You are in so many ways so special to me

You are like sweet nectar to a honey bee

If people knew they'd say you'd become an obsession

But what do they know? You slow things down, give me clarity and direction

Somehow you have the power to change what's inside of me

It must be your added helpings of anti-anxiety

Over these past few months you've helped me in so many ways

Like when I was in Amsterdam, those were the days

Coming down off the acid

Remembering who I am. I owe it all to you

My beloved Valium

(Part 2 - 2017)

Beautiful pharmaceutical 
How I miss

The calming effect
Of your soothing kiss

You were predictable like sunrise 
Every time you'd deliver
 
My head was stuck in the sand
With regards to my liver

It's only been two months now
But how I miss...

The warmth of your glow 
Your reassuring bliss

The occasional memory lapses 
Were a small price to pay 

For quick firing synapses 
That I relied on every day
​​​​​​
I could see in the shadows
Hear over the din

​​​​​​But soon after you left.......

That's when the fog rolled in 

What I would now give to hear
The sweet pop of your blister pack

You were the chiropractor's touch
To an aching back

You combined like an enzyme 
With the chemicals in my brain

Insecurities and insomnia 
Were the beasts to be slain

Now self doubt builds 
Until the point where I can't stand it

I feel naked and afraid 
Without your pale blue comfort blanket 

You kept me well balanced
My negative emotions under control

Without you I am incomplete 
An arse with no hole

Out of place and ridiculous 
Like a cow with no udders 

Changing my skin like a chameleon 
So as not to offend others 

So I secretly yearn for your safe return.... ​​​​​

If you were to return now
I'd have everything to gain.....

And everything to lose

Someday we'll meet again
My best friend 
My muse

(Part 3 2026)

Beautiful Pharmaceutical
With pale blue blooms
Of tranquillity and forgiveness

You were the binding glue
In this acid-wash existence

I'd rip you from your
Padded parcel
And greedily glug you down

Standing atop
The well of my emotions
Watching my insecurities drown

How I reminisce
About the sweet relief
You'd bring

Stopping my demons
From crawling up the well
Like that girl from The Ring

Marooned on the island of my mind
Comforted by the blue ocean
My neck was the isthmus

Dishevelled 
Malnourished 
A life of subsistence

I'd drink and down pills
Waking up wonky
The morning after

So much so
That I became known as
The Wob Father

I even smuggled you 
To the Far East
Risking my freedom

Waking up wobbly
In the land
Of the rising sun

I met zany Xanax
Your little bitch
Of a cousin

I ended up in A&E
Heart pounding
After we'd had a colourful run-in

Now three whole years
Have passed
And I no longer miss

Your crippling withdrawal
Your vice-like grip
On my chest

You took credit for my achievements
When it was all me

Ten years of addiction...
Such a heavy price
For anti-anxiety

An eighteen-year love affair
I struggle to remember
How it all began

I almost thought
We'd be together forever
You were the yin to my yang

You were the lifeblood
In my veins
The healing spring
Through which I swam

I'll never forget you...

My estranged Valium