Working Through Pain

I’m sifting through my back pages

For they have been around for ages

How do I deal with darkness within

The book of memory I am thinking?

Does the pain overwhelm my desire

To overcome such a painful fire

That burns in my breast, being heavy

Is caused by twisted thoughts really.

Like looking through a photo album

I see the pictures that only sum

Up how they pain me, but not why,

The reasons are obscured but I try.

Time and again I am knocked about

With the deeds and words I shout

From within but no one hears me,

Did I deserve others to abuse me?

What did I do that they cut me up

What excuse can they put in my cup

As I sip teas of disturbing scenes

That play out inside my head mean.

What price are friendships on the rocks

As havoc is played mixing the shocks

I get from toxic minds and hearts

Did I miss something, what is my part?