When It Settles

My humanity had been corrupted,

By the parts of the world that contained man.

I’d been betrayed by those I had trusted,

Since things never go according to plan.

But even through the heartbreak I still cared,

And I suffered through it all silently.

My feelings however were never spared,

Which made my demons act violently.

The things that I went through never leave me,

And have awakened the monsters inside.

Doing my best to hide them discreetly,

By simply going along with the ride.

Every day they come sit beside me,

And watch me when the others are awake.

Then when they fall asleep they turn lively,

Thrashing around until my organs shake.

These led to thoughts that I knew weren’t my own,

Which then led to negative behaviors.

I felt the pain they caused down to the bone,

Yet they were the ones I asked for favors.

For a long time I believed that was true,

These demons were the reasons for it all.

But what I had completely failed to do,

Was see the real enemy in this brawl.

So I asked why they wanted to haunt me,

When flashbacks alone were more than enough.

They claimed it was a lifetime guarantee,

To remind me that existing is tough.

One demon said his name was resentment,

Introducing me to his friend abuse.

Their memories tore down my contentment,

Wrapping the rope around me like a noose.

More than anything else I’ve dealt with pain,

But it seems like I’m unable to let go.

And those shadows only bleed in my brain,

Making it so this evil’s what I know.

I am not undergoing a possession,

But I carry loads of trauma with me.

Yet it grew to become an obsession,

Of living in chaos and tragedy.

But when that settled in just like the rain,

I drained the venom and removed the pain.