Lancashire Lad !

I'm a one off, a treasure, unique, condemned by the way that I speak.
considered by some folk a freak.
Outlawed by softies from London town's suburbs,
Those loud cockney wide boys and warm flat ale lovers.
Who ridicule me and my Lancashire brothers.
They talk about us and they laugh.
Consider us Northern, stupid and daft.
They say we lack manners and good social graces.
At football and music we're first at the races, we're humble exponents of style and good cheer. 
We like cold and damp weather and cold frothy  beer, we're honest, dependable grafters.
We 're quick witted friendly, exponents of laughter.
We love raising a glass and then raising the rafters when our music is played all around.
You'll know all the words to our anthems, our Northern soul sounds.
We're Lancashire born bread and buttered.
Honest in deed and in every word uttered, our language unique and sublime.
Developed in factories, local pub tap rooms and cotton mill's grime.
Our forefathers crafting inherited treasure.
It makes self expression a joy and a pleasure.
No room for errors or to know what we're thinking.
We'll tell you until you are told !
Presumed to be lazy, thick and hard drinking
We're Lancashire, grafters, brave funny and bold.
We're Lancashire through to our core.
We're quick witted, charming, ethical people.
We blend with sepia skies and church steeples
That the best place in't world is the place we were born. Where folk are good natured and friendly.
We don't name our kids like those posh  "Ooh Ah Henry's, coz our kids have Lancashire names.
Like Albert, and Stanley and  Jim short for James
 Those Tarquin's and Hubert's and those hyphenated,  names that when heard sound like a cat being castrated, performed with two Accrington Bricks.
Our "Richard's" we shorten to " Dicks."
Our surnames are passed down from father to son, Mr Rowbottom's lad we call " Paddle Bum!" 
So get off our land you apple juice drinkers, you west country yokels and hesitant thinkers. 
 And as for you soft London Toff's , You just don't belong here, so just bugger off !!!!