Aspiration

I used to have a case of hopelessness,

That I never considered could be cured.

My soul had turned black and emotionless,

As a result of what I had endured.

Everybody told me that I was strong,

Yet I was heavily in denial.

I felt as though my existence was wrong,

Of which had started my downward spiral.

I had felt like this for quite awhile,

And I grew weaker with each day’s passing.

Disguising it with a crooked smile,

That covered the sorrow I was masking.

So I chose to dive into the deep end,

And transformed my denial completely.

Each night I would feel my bones break and bend,

As I felt the healing much too deeply.

But I couldn’t bare the thought of quitting,

When I knew I’d come so far already.

I was determined to keep committing,

To destroying what I’d like to bury.

Then the strengths that they had mentioned before,

Became known the more I worked on my soul.

It ended up being hard to ignore,

That I had regained a lot of control.

Not only that but my hope was restored,

Yet it wasn’t easy to accomplish.

But it’s because I had fully explored,

The sides of me I wished to demolish.

And with the faith that has returned to me,

I’ll become who I’ve aspired to be.