Silver Rail

Something terrible happened, I didn’t blink or cry

I had a great weekend, it made me sick, don’t I care if people live or die?

I can’t get my head around it, but it’s not for any of them I shed a tear

It’s what my lack of reaction says about me that I fear

I have a history of freezing and going numb, I tell myself that doesn’t mean that I don’t care

We all mourn in different ways, but do I mourn if I never feel any anguish or despair?

I tell myself I’m desensitized by exposure and trauma, but if I never pause, am I justified? 

I’m a monster, they were my neighbors, I can’t feel the loss, believe me, I’ve tried